---
Now, “Dude,” that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from, but then there was a lot about The Dude that didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.
The call Los Angeles “The City of Angels,” but I didn’t find it to be that exactly…
And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, as a fellow says.
I guess I’ve seen something every bit as stupefying as you’d see in any of those other places- and in English too!
And even if he’s a lazy man, and The Dude was most certainly that; quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles county, which would place him high in the running for laziest worldwide.
But sometimes there’s a man, sometimes there’s a man…Wow! Lost my train of thought here….but, ah hell…
---
Where’s the fucking money, shithead?
It’s, uh, it’s down there somewhere- let me take another look.
My wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I’m fucking married? The toilet seat’s up, man!
What the fuck is this?
Obviously you’re not a golfer.
He looks like a fucking loser!
Hey, at least I’m housebroken.
Thanks a lot, asshole!
---
Whoo, I’m throwing rocks tonight! Mark it, Dude!
Were you listening to The Dude’s story?
I was bowling.
So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You’re like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know….
Yeah, Walter, what’s your point?
HUH? NOT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU… I’M NO…
We’re talking about unchecked aggression here, Dude!
What the fuck is he talking about?
My rug.
Forget it Donny, you’re out of your element!
Walter, the Chinaman who peed on my rug. I can’t go give him a bill!
The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude; across this line you do not…also Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature; Asian-American, please.
Walter, this isn’t a guy who built the railroads here…Walter, he peed on my rug!
He peed on The Dude’s rug!
Donny, you’re out of your element. Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here!
Am I wrong?
No.
Am I wrong?
Yeah, but….
Okay then, HUH!
This guy peed on it!
Donny, please.
---
As you can see the various commendations, awards, citations, honorary degrees, et cetera.
Oh, please feel free to inspect them.
So he’s a crip…, uh, you know, a handicapped kinda guy?
Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes.
This picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan was first lady of the nation, yes, yes, not of California. In fact, he met privately with the president although unfortunately there was not enough time for a photo opportunity.
Oh, Nancy’s pretty good.
Oh, wonderful woman! We’re very happy to…
Racially he’s pretty cool?
Inner city children of promise but without the necessary means for a necessary means for a higher education…
Don’t touch that.
So you know they were trying to pee on your rug?
Did I urinate on your rug?
You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug?
Hello! Do you speak English, sir? Para usted Ingles?
Every time a rug is miterated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the person?
You’re Mr. Lebowski; I’m The Dude, so that’s what you call me. You know, that or His Dudeness, or, uh, Duder or you know, El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.
Are you employed, sir?
Employed? (Chuckle)
You don’t go out looking for a job dressed like that do you, on a weekday?
Is this, uh, what day is this?
I didn’t blame anyone for the loss of my legs. Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea….
How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski?
Okay. The old man told me to take any rug in the house.
If I’m in the neighborhood, you know, and need to use the john…
Louie doesn’t care about anything; he’s a nihilist.
Oh, that must be exhausting.
Oh, you’re Bunny!
I’ll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Ha, Ha, Ha… Wonderful woman, we’re all very fond of her- very free-spirited.
Brant can’t watch though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Excuse me, I just need to go find a cash machine….
---
I’m slamming ‘em tonight. You guys are dead in the water.
What the fuck is that?
Theodor Herzl, State of Israel, “If you will it, Dude, it is no dream.”
What the fuck are you talking about, man? The carrier, what’s in the fucking carrier?
Huh? Oh, Cynthia’s dog, I think it’s a Pomeranian. You can’t leave him home alone or he eats the furniture.
You brought a fucking Pomeranian bowling?
I (only) brought it bowling. I didn’t rent it shoes, I’m not buying it a fucking beer, he’s not taking a fucking turn, Dude.
This is a fucking showdog with fucking papers. You can’t board it, it get’s upset. Its hair falls out.
OVER THE LINE!
Smokey, this is not Nam, this is bowling; there are rules.
Smokey my friend, you’re entering a world of pain. If you mark that frame an eight you’re entering a world of pain. A world of pain.
Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!
It’s a league game, Smokey.
You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism at one point- not in Nam of course.
And you know, he’s got emotional problems, man.
You mean, beyond pacifism?
I did not know that. Well, it’s all water under the bridge, and we do enter the next round-robin. Am I wrong?
You’re not wrong, Walter, you’re just an asshole!
Okay, then.
Look at our current situation with that camel-fucker in Iraq. Pacifism is not something to hide behind.
I’m perfectly calm, Dude.
Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
Calmer than you are.
---
I just got a, an informal report that a member of your team, a Walter Sobchak, drew a firearm during league play. If this is true of course it contravenes a number of the leagues bylaws….
I’m performing my dance quintet, you know my cycle…I’d love it if you came and gave me notes.
Dude, tomorrow’s already the tenth.
Far out. Oh, oh, alright, okay.
Just slip the rent under my door.
It’s Brant.
---
I’ve accomplished more than most men without the use of my legs.
What, what makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
Dude.
Huh?
I don’t know, sir.
Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn’t that what makes a man?
Um, sure, that and a pair of testacles.
You mind if I do a J?
Strong men also cry. Strong men also cry.
He believes the culprits might be the very same men who…soiled your rug…
He thinks the carpet-pissers did this?
---
That creep can roll, man.
Yeah, but he’s a pervert, dude.
What’s a pederast, Walter?
Shut up, Donnie.
That fucking bitch!
It’s like Lenin said, “You look for the person who will benefit, and…,” uh, you know…
I am the walrus. I am the walrus. I am the walrus.
Shut the fuck up, Donnie! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!
What the fuck is he talking about?
I did not watch my buddies die face-down in the muck so that this fucking strumpet, this fucking whore, can waltz around town...
Walter, I don’t see any connection with Vietnam, man.
Well, there isn’t a literal connection.
Walter, face it, there isn’t any connection. Your roll.
Have it your way, but my point is…
Liam and me, we’re gonna fuck you up.
Yeah? Well, you know, that’s just like your opinion, man.
You flash a piece out in the lanes, I’ll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the trigger until it goes click.
Jesus!
You said it man, nobody fucks with the Jesus!
Eight year olds, dude.
---
---
One person only- they were very clear on that or I’d go with you. One person only.
Her life is in your hands.
Man, don’t say that.
Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that- Her life is in your hands.
Oh shit, man.
Her life is in your hands, Dude.
Take the wringer, I’ll drive.
The what?
The ringer. The ringer, dude.
Walter, I’m sure there’s a reason you brought your dirty undies, man.
I got to thinking why should we settle for a measly 20 grand…
We, what the fuck we?
I’m not handling the money, driving the car and talking on the phone all by my fucking…
Dude, are you fucking this up?
Nothing is fucked, Dude. C’mon, you’re being very un-Dude.
They’re a bunch of FUCKING AMATEURS.
Don’t say peep while I’m doing business here.
Okay, Dude, have it your way…but they’re amateurs.
That’s the simple part, Dude. We make the hand-off and then grab one of them and beat it out of ‘em. HUH?
There’s one thing I learned in Nam….
No, we can’t do that, Dude. That fucks up our plan.
Well, call them up and explain it to them. Your plan is so fucking simple I’m sure they’ll fucking understand it. That’s the beauty of it.
Give me the wringer, chop, chop.
Walter, I love you man but sooner or later you’re gonna have to face the fact that you’re a fucking moron.
Okay, Dude no time to argue.
You’re wheel. Haul 15 kph on the line; I’ll double back, grab one of them and beat it out of ‘em. The UZI.
UZI?
You didn’t think I was rolling out of here naked, did you?
Ah, fuck it Dude; let’s go bowling.
---
Etz chiam he, as the X used to say.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What the fuck are we gonna tell Lebowski?
Huh? Oh him. Uh, what exactly is the problem?
I told that Kraut a fucking thousand times I don’t roll on shabash.
They already posted it.
They can fucking un-post it.
C’mon Dude, uh, eventually she’ll get tired of her little game and, you know, wander on back.
Saturday, Donnie, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t fucking ride in a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t turn on the oven and I sure as shit DON”T FUCKING ROLL!
Sheesh!
SHOMER SHABBOS!
(He’s a fucking baby)
Oh, yeah- how did it go?
It went alright; Dude’s car got a little dinged up.
They’re gonna kiiiiiill that poor woman!
Hey, Walter, if you can’t ride in a car, then how do you get around on Shabash?
Who’s got a fucking million fucking dollars sitting in the trunk of our car?
Our car, Walter?
And they only got my dirty undies.
Say Dude, where is your car?
Who’s got your dirty undies, Walter?
Phone’s ringing, Dude.
---
Uh, yeah- green. Some uh, brown, uh rust coloration.
Uh, my briefcase.
In the briefcase?
Uh, uh papers, um, just papers. You know, my papers. Business papers.
And what do you do, sir?
I’m unemployed.
Separate incidence!
I wouldn’t hold out much hope for the tape deck, though.
Or the Creedence.
Whoa, guess we can close the file on that one!
---
Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
Uh, is that what this is a picture of?
The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
Oh, yeah?
Yes, they don’t like hearing it and find it difficult to say, while without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
Johnson?
Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?
Excuse me?
Sex- the physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
I was talking about my rug…
You’re not interested in sex?
You mean coitus?
I like it, too. It’s a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. However, there are some people, it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women, who engage in it compulsively and without joy.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski.
Listen, Maude, um I’m sorry if your step-mother is a nympho but I don’t see what this has to do with, uh, do you have any Kahlua?
Oh, I know that guy- yeah, he’s a nihilist. Carl Hungus.
That’s why they sent me, I am an expert.
Lord, you can imagine where it goes from here.
He fixes the cable?
Don’t be fatuous, Jeffrey.
Little matter to me that this woman chose to pursue a career in pornography nor that she has been banging Jackie Treehorn, to use the parlance of our times….
Shit, yeah the Achievers.
The Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes, and proud we are of all of them….
This compulsive fornicator is taking my father for the proverbial ride.
He doesn’t approve of my lifestyle and needless to say I don’t approve of his.
One hundred…
Thousand, yes, bones or clams or whatever you call them.
Hwe’s a good man- and thorough.
---
Oh, fuckin’ A, man- I gotta rash, man. Fuckin’ A.
Hey careful man, there’s a beverage here!
This is our concern, Dude.
No, man, nothing is fucked here.
Nothing is fucked?
No, man.
The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain!
Oh, man, c’mon who are you gonna believe, those guys or, uh, we dropped off the money.
We?
I. The royal “we,” you know, The editorial- I dropped off the money exactly as per…
This could be a, a lot more uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean it’s not just, it might not be just a simple, uh, you know?
What in God’s holy name are you blathering about?
Sure man, look at it, you know, a young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know. She, uh, owes money all over town including to known pornographers- and that’s cool. That’s, that’s cool.
She’s gotta feed the monkey, I mean, uh…
That had not occurred to us, Dude.
Well, okay, you know, you guys aren’t privy to all the new shit so, ah, you know, but, hey, that’s what you, ah, that’s what you pay me for. Speaking of which, do you think uh, you could uh, give me my twenty thousand in cash? Uh, my concern is, and I’ve got to talk with my accountant, but this might bump me up into a higher tax….
Well, if you’ve already got the check made out, that that’s cool.
By God, sir, I will not abide another toe!
---
Sure, Dude, as if it’s impossible to get some nail polish, apply it to someone else’s toe, take some shears…
You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me, there are ways, Dude. You don’t want to know about them, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon with nail polish. Those fucking amateurs.
Dude, that’s, that’s just the stress talking, man.
Oh, please, dear? For your information the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.
Lady, I’ve got buddies who died face-down in the muck so that you and I can enjoy this family restaurant.
Alright, I’m outta here.
Hey, Dude, don’t go away, man. C’mon, this affects all of us, man. Our basic freedoms! I’m staying. I’m finishing my coffee. Enjoying my coffee.
---
Hey, this is a private residence, man. Ah, nice marmot!
You think we are kidding or making with the funny stuff?
We can do things you haven’t dreamed of, Lebowski.
Yah, we believes in nothing.
He believes in nothing, Lebowski, nothing.
And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your Johnson.
Excuse me?
I said, we’ll cut off your Johnson!
Just think about that, Lebowski.
Huh, your wiggly penis, eh Lebowski?
Maybe we stomp on it and squish it.
---
You’re lucky they left the tape deck though; and the Creedence.
---
My only hope is that the Big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.
Now, that is just ridiculous, Dude. No one’s going to cut your dick off.
Thank you, Walter.
Not if I have anything to say about it.
Thank you, Walter. That makes me feel very secure.
Dude…
That makes me feel very warm inside.
I could be sitting here with just pee stains on my rug.
Yeah, fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazi’s.
They were Nazi’s, Dude?
Oh c’mon, Donnie, they were threatening castration!
Uh, huh?
Are we gonna split hairs here?
No.
Am I wrong?
Nihilists. Fuck me! I mean, say what you want about the tenants of national socialism, Dude; at least it’s an ethos. And also let’s not forgot, let’s not forget, Dude, that keeping wildlife, um, an amphibious rodent, for um you know domestic, within the city…that ain’t legal either.
What, are you a fucking park ranger now?
Why give a shit about the fucking marmot?
Fuck sympathy! I don’t need your fucking sympathy, man, I need my fucking Johnson!
What do you need that for, Dude?
You have got to buck up, man. You cannot drag this negative energy into the tournament!
Fuck the tournament. Fuck you, Walter!
Fuck the tournament? Okay, Dude I can see you don’t want to be cheered up, here. C’mon, Donnie, let’s go get us a lane.
You gotta good sarsaparilla?
Sioux City sarsaparilla?
Yeah, that’s a good one!
Well, a wiser feller than myself once said, “Sometimes you eat the bar, and…,” much obliged, “sometimes the bar, we’ll, he eats you.”
Hmm, is that some kinda Eastern thing?
Far from it.
I like your style, Dude.
Yeah, well, I dig your style, too, man. You got that whole cowboy thing going.
Thank you. There’s just one thing, Dude.
Yeah, what’s that?
Do you have to use so many cuss words?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Okay, Dude, have it your way.
---
Do you wanna drink?
Yeah, sure- a White Russian?
The bar’s over there.
Yeah, a friend with a cleft asshole?
Hey Maude, I got to tender my resignation or whatever.
Uli Konkul, her co-star in the beaver picture?
Beav…You mean vagina?
There music is sort of a, ugh, techno-pop.
What the fuck is with this guy? Who is he?
This is a very complicated case, Maude, you a lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what-have-yous and a lot of strands to keep in my head, man; a lot of strands in old Duder’s head.
After effects?
---
Could you slide your shorts down, Mr Lebowski please?
No man, she hit me right here.
I understand. Could you slide your shorts down, please?
---
---
He lives in North Hollywood on Radford near the In-And–Out burger.
No, the In-And –Out burger’s on Camrose.
Near the In-And-Out burger.
Those are good burgers, Walter.
Shut the fuck up, Donnie.
And his father is- are you ready for this?- his father is Arthur Digby Sellers!
Who the fuck is that?
Huh?
Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?
Who the f…Have you ever heard of a little show called Branded, Dude?
Yeah, yes, I...
“All but one man died there at Bitter Creek…”
Not exactly a light-weight,
No…
and yet his son is a fucking dunce.
Hmmm…
Anyway, we’ll go down there after the what-have-you…We’ll brace the kid, he should be a pushover…
We’ll be near the In-And –Out burger…
Shut the fuck up Donnie!
Shhh!
A million fucking clams! And yes, we’ll be near the, uh-
In-and-Out
Burger, have some beers, a few laughs. Our fucking troubles are over, Dude.
---
A new vette? Hardly, Dude. I’d say he still has 960, 970 thousand dollars left, depending on the options. Wait in the car, Donnie.
AND A GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR!
Is he…does he still write?
Oh, no, no; he has health problems.
Uh, huh. Oh, sir, I just want to say that we’re both, on a personal level, really enormous fans. Branded, especially the early episodes, were truly a source of inspiration…
Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
Look, man, it…
Dude, please…. Is this your homework, Larry?
We know it’s his fucking homework! Where’s the fucking money, you little brat?
Look, Larry; have you ever heard of Vietnam?
Oh, for Christ’s sake…
You’re entering a world of pain, son, we know that this is your homework; we know that you stole the car…
And the fucking money…
And the fucking money, and we know this is your homework!
We’re gonna cut your dick off, Larry.
You’re killing your father, Larry. Alright, this is pointless. Time for plan B.
Son, this is what happens when you FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!
We’ve got a language problem here. The little prick’s stonewalling me.
Hey, no, no that’s not his!
---
No, Walter, it did not look like Larry was about to crack. Well, that’s your perception. You know Walter, you’re right, there is an unspoken message here- it’s FUCK YOU! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! Yeah, I’ll be at practice.
You’re not dealing with morons here.
---
How’s the smut business, Jackie?
I wouldn’t know, Dude. I deal in publishing, entertainment, political advocacy.
Yeah, which one’s Logjammin’?
Now that we’re competing with those amateurs, we can’t afford to invest in little extras like story, production value, feelings. You know, people forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
Well, on you maybe.
Well, I still jerk off manually.
Ha, ha, ha. Of course you do.
Need a refill?
Yeah, does the pope shit in the woods?
---
Darkness washed over The Dude. Darker than a black steer’s tuckuss on a moonless prairie at night. There was no bottom.
---
Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.
I don’t like your jerk-off name, I don’t like your jerk-off face, I don’t like your jerk-off behavior and I don’t like you- jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. Oww! Fucking fascist!
Man c’mon, I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man!
---
That’s my robe.
You ever hear of The Seattle Seven?
Uh, uh.
That was me…There were six other guys…uh, and then the music business briefly.
Oh?
Yeah; roadie for Metallica.
Oh.
Speed of Sound tour.
Hmm…
Bunch of assholes.
And then, uh, you know, and then a little of this, a little of that. My career’s slowed down a little lately.
What do you do for recreation?
Oh, the usual. A bowl, drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
You know, this is a very complicated case, Maude- lotta ins, lotta outs. Uh, you know, fortunately I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, limber…
What is that, yoga?
It increases the chances of conception.
Increases?
Well, yes. What did you think this was all about, fun and games?
Oh, so that doctor, uh…
Exactly. Now, what happened to your face?
No, uh, it was the Chief of Police of Malibu. Real reactionary.
Oh man, my thinking about this case had become very uptight!
I’m not even supposed to pick up the phone unless it’s an emergency.
This is a fucking emergency.
I understand; that’s why I picked up the phone.
She’s not my special lady, she’s my fucking lady friend; I’m just helping her conceive, man!
Who the fuck are the Knudson’s?
Oh boy- how are they gonna keep ‘em down on the farm once they’ve seen Karl Hungus?
Yeah, yeah, I get it; fuck off DaFino. And stay away from my special…from my fucking lady friend, man.
---
Lingenberger pancakes.
Ze Pigs in blanket.
---
My point is: here we are; it’s Shabbos, the Sabbath, which I’m allowed to break only if it’s a matter of life or death.
Will you come off it, Walter? You’re not even fucking Jewish, man.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Man, you’re fucking Polish-Catholic.
What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia. C’mon Dude, you know this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.
So what are you saying: when you get a divorce you turn in your library card, you get a new license, you stop being Jewish?
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition from Moses to Sandy Koufax, YOU’RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I’M LIVING IN THE FUCKING PAST!
Who am I? I’m a fucking veteran, that’s who I am!
The million bucks from fucking needy little orphan achievers.
Who am I? Who am I? I’m the guy that’s going to kick your phony goldbricking ass, that’s who I am!
As if we would ever dream of taking your bullshit money!
You just met me, you, f…, you human paraquat! You figured, “oh, here’s a loser, you know, a deadbeat; somebody the square community won’t give a shit about.”
We’ll, aren’t you?
Well, yeah…
Let me tell you something else: I’ve seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy’s a fake; a fucking goldbricker.
This guy walks! I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.
Yeah, I’ll put him down, man!
---
I mean, I had an M-16, jack-o, not an Abrams fucking tank. Me and Charlie; eyeball to eyeball.
Yeah…
That’s fucking combat. The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fucking adversary.
Who is in pajamas, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donnie. Whereas what we have here: a bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their head trying to find reverse on a Soviet tank…
I don’t fucking care. It don’t matter to Jesus!
Laughable, man. Ha, ha! I woulda fucked you in the ass Saturday; I’ll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Woo! You got a date Wednesday, baby.
He’s cracking.
Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car!
Are these the Nazi’s, Walter?
No, Donnie, these men are nihilists. There’s nothing to be afraid of.
Fair? Who’s the fucking nihilists around here, you bunch of fucking crybabies?
And, I would like my undies back.
Are these guys gonna hurt us, Walter?
No, Donnie, these men are cowards.
I’ve got four bucks, almost five.
Show me what you’ve got, nihilist!
Walter, c’mon- he’s gotta sword-thing, man!
Fucking dipshit with a nine-toed woman.
Anti-semite!
---
Jeff Lebowski.
Walter Sobchack.
Uh, but The Dude actually is.
Excuse me?
Oh nothing.
One hundred and eighty dollars?
Can’t we just rent it from you?
Sir, this is a mortuary, not a rental house.
We’re scattering the fucking ashes! Look, just because we’re bereaved, doesn’t make us saps!
Sir, please lower your voices.
Man, don’t you have something else we could put him in, you know?
That is our most modestly priced receptacle.
GOD DAMNIT! Is there a Ralph’s around here?
---
He died- he died, as so many young men of his generation, before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him. As you took so many bright, flowering young men at Khe Sanh, Lan Doc, at Hill 364…These men gave their lives, and so did Donnie. Donnie, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Kerabatsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Goodnight, sweet prince.
Shit. Oh, shit Dude, I’m sorry. God damn wind.
Fuck- God damnit, Walter. You fucking asshole.
Dude, I’m sorry.
Everything’s a fucking travesty with you, man!
I’m sorry, it was an accident.
What was, what was that shit about Vietnam?
Dude, I’m sorry.
What the fuck does anything have to do with Vietnam?
Dude, I’m sorry.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Dude, I’m sorry.
Fucking…fuck, Walter.
C’mon Dude. Hey, fuck it man. Let’s go bowling
---
Two oat sodas, Gary.
Sorry to hear about Donnie.
Oh, yeah, well, you know, sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes, uh, you know. Hey, man!
Howdy-do, Dude!
I wondered if I’d see you again.
I wouldn’t miss the semis.
Oh yeah?
How’s things been goin’?
Well, you know- strikes and gutters; ups and down.
Sure, I got ya.
Take it easy, Dude.
Oh, yeah.
I know that you will.
Yep, well, The Dude abides.
The Dude abides. I don’t know about you, but I take comfort in that. It’s good knowing he’s out there.
The Dude, taking her easy for all us sinners. Shush. I sure hope he makes the finals.
Well, that about does her. Wraps her all up.
And it was a pretty good story, don’t you think? Made me laugh to beat the band. Parts, anyway.
Oh, look at me: I’m rambling again. Well, I hope you folks enjoyed yourselves. Catch ya later on down the trail. Say friend, got anymore of that good sarsaparilla?
