Alright, kids, it’s time to learn how to navigate an intersection with a 4-way stop. I know, I know, it’s totally easy and YOU know how to do it. Then why is that almost every time I come to a 4-way stop, it consists of a bunch of idiots staring at each other, hoping some other car knows what to do? Two phrases I say to make myself laugh instead of pulling out a gat and going apeshit (not really) are “Is someone waiting for a sign from god?” and “What is this, a MENSA convention?” Yeah, I know, I’m pretty witty.
First things first: a 4-way stop is an intersection where traffic from all four directions has a stop sign or blinking red light. You should have the alertness to determine the nature of an intersection before you get to it. You do this by looking and planning ahead. In Portland, where whoever designed the intersections had a death wish for motor vehicle drivers (they think “bike safe” is the same as “car unsafe” here), the 4-way intersection stop signs don’t generally say “All Ways” under them like they do in the other states I’ve lived in.
At a 4-way intersection, the largest number of cars you should ever have to wait for before it’s your turn to go is THREE, and it will usually be less. I have watched cars (in my rear-view mirror) let 8-10 cars pass through the intersection before they go. There is no reason or excuse for this whatsoever.
One major misconception at a 4-way stop is that you always have to yield for cars that came to a stop before you. This is incorrect! You only need to yield for cars that stopped before you if your route and their route will cross in the intersection. The only time you’ll ever have to yield for a car across from you is if one of you is going straight and the other is turning left. (Not to muddy the waters, but if you are in this situation at an intersection where neither of you has a stop sign, the car turning left must yield to the car going straight even if that car got there first.) You only have to yield to the car on your left if it is going straight or if it is turning left and you aren’t turning right. You have to yield to a car on your right if you aren’t turning right unless it is turning right and you are turning left. In all other cases, you can just fucking go!
Next, let me explain to you the elusive notion of “right of way.” All this means is that, if you stopped at the same time as a car whose path you will cross in the intersection, the car on your right gets to go first, or if the car is across from you, the car going straight (i.e. not the car turning left). Also, in Oregon pedestrians always have the right of way. (Personally, I think pedestrians should be wary enough of cars to at least look both ways before crossing the street and hurrying the fuck up while doing so.)
You should never yield for anybody who stopped at the intersection after you. Don’t try to be polite and wave someone through out of turn. You are fucking up the whole process and making all traffic slow down unnecessarily. Just follow the goddamn rules.
Finally (although frankly I’m not sure about the law’s opinion on this), it is perfectly safe and encouraged by me to utilize the “screen.” Any of you who have ever played organized basketball should understand this concept. If the progression of traffic makes it impossible for a car you would otherwise have to yield to to move, you can go ahead and go out of turn if it is still possible for you to do so. For example, if a car across from you is going straight and preventing the car on your left from proceeding, you can go ahead and go straight utilizing the screen of the other vehicle even if the car on your left stopped before you. Take the quality and timing of the screen into consideration. A semi will provide a very good screen but a mini-cooper probably won’t provide one at all. If the timing of the screen doesn’t allow for you to come to a full stop and then accelerate across the intersection before it is over then don’t bother. If you missed your chance, don’t try to force the issue by pulling out in front of the car that used to be screened.
Once you’ve committed to crossing the intersection, proceed in a timely fashion. I can’t believe how frequently a car will pull out in front of me and then stop in my way to find out whether I’m going to collide with them or not. Don’t tempt me.
Shockingly, considering how much trouble others seem to have figuring it out, that's all there is to it. One thing that is really helpful at an intersection is USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL! You do this by turning it on before you get to the intersection. Portlanders have an annoying habit of turning on their signal while they turn. Whenever possible, I keep a close watch on the drivers of the other vehicles in order to determine which ones aren't paying any attention whatsoever, don't have a clue what they're doing or are just going to do it wrong. If the other cars are just going to sit there scratching their heads, I will just go ahead and go even if it's their turn. Of course, I am forced to yield to those that just go through the intersection without even looking.
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Parallel Parking
As much as I enjoy making fun of those who can’t Parallel Park, it’s time to teach you how it’s done. If you don’t understand how to operate a motorized vehicle, you shouldn’t be in one. Failure to Parallel Park demonstrates a lack of spatial awareness, an inability to understand turning radius and ignorance of mirrors, among other things. I have successfully parked into spots no more than two feet longer than my station wagon (which is missing its passenger side-view mirror, the most useful mirror when parallel parking) using the following method:
First, line your back bumper up with the back bumper of the car in front of the space you want to get into (Figure A).
Put your car in reverse. Turn your steering wheel to the right, but not too sharply, and back up, looking behind you (Figure B). As you reverse, you will gradually increase the sharpness of the wheel turning radius.
The most common parallel parking mistake is to turn the wheel too sharply so that you end up parking perpendicular instead of parallel (Figure B.1).
While backing up, keep your car as close as possible to the rear left corner of the car in front of the parking spot. Next comes the most crucial step. At the appropriate time, turn the wheel to the left slightly more than what it was turned to the right (Figure C). The time will vary in relation to car length, but on my station wagon it is approximately when the unhinged end of the passenger door is in line with the rear bumper of the car in front of the spot. If you do this too early, your car will end up too far from the curb. If you do this too late, you will again end up too perpendicular.
As you continue to keep the rear left corner of the front car close, increase the sharpness of the wheel until the right side of your front bumper just barely clears the front car with your wheel turned as sharp as it goes (Figure D). Continue backing with the front wheel turned to the left as sharp as it goes until you are close to and parallel with the curb. Then normally all you need to do is straighten the wheel and pull forward until you are centered between the two parked cars (because you should be closer to the car behind you). Your rear right tire should never hit the curb, although in my obsession with getting as close to the curb as possible, the side of my tire will often graze it. If your rear end starts to swing away from the curb before your front end is close enough to it, you'll have to straighten the wheel some and make a mental note that you either didn't turn the wheel to the right sharp enough (Fig. B) or turned the wheel to the left too soon (Fig. C). In a tight spot, you will have to stop short of parallel to the curb to prevent the left side of your rear bumper from hitting the car behind you (although I will always argue that’s what bumpers are for). In that case, turn the wheel sharply to the right and pull forward. This will straighten you out and center you. If it doesn't, you probably didn't turn the wheel sharp enough at some point or the spot is too small for you to fit into. Finally, curb the wheel appropriately if you’re on a hill.
I do not subscribe to the “sawing” method, in which you keep going forward and back in an attempt to inch yourself closer to the curb (although you might have to do this to get out of the spot), unless it's to make a very minor adjustment. If you didn’t do it right the first time, it's much easier to just return to the position in Figure A and start over.
Under normal circumstances, all of this should take less than ten seconds in a car. Obviously a van will take longer.
First, line your back bumper up with the back bumper of the car in front of the space you want to get into (Figure A).
Put your car in reverse. Turn your steering wheel to the right, but not too sharply, and back up, looking behind you (Figure B). As you reverse, you will gradually increase the sharpness of the wheel turning radius.
The most common parallel parking mistake is to turn the wheel too sharply so that you end up parking perpendicular instead of parallel (Figure B.1).
While backing up, keep your car as close as possible to the rear left corner of the car in front of the parking spot. Next comes the most crucial step. At the appropriate time, turn the wheel to the left slightly more than what it was turned to the right (Figure C). The time will vary in relation to car length, but on my station wagon it is approximately when the unhinged end of the passenger door is in line with the rear bumper of the car in front of the spot. If you do this too early, your car will end up too far from the curb. If you do this too late, you will again end up too perpendicular.
As you continue to keep the rear left corner of the front car close, increase the sharpness of the wheel until the right side of your front bumper just barely clears the front car with your wheel turned as sharp as it goes (Figure D). Continue backing with the front wheel turned to the left as sharp as it goes until you are close to and parallel with the curb. Then normally all you need to do is straighten the wheel and pull forward until you are centered between the two parked cars (because you should be closer to the car behind you). Your rear right tire should never hit the curb, although in my obsession with getting as close to the curb as possible, the side of my tire will often graze it. If your rear end starts to swing away from the curb before your front end is close enough to it, you'll have to straighten the wheel some and make a mental note that you either didn't turn the wheel to the right sharp enough (Fig. B) or turned the wheel to the left too soon (Fig. C). In a tight spot, you will have to stop short of parallel to the curb to prevent the left side of your rear bumper from hitting the car behind you (although I will always argue that’s what bumpers are for). In that case, turn the wheel sharply to the right and pull forward. This will straighten you out and center you. If it doesn't, you probably didn't turn the wheel sharp enough at some point or the spot is too small for you to fit into. Finally, curb the wheel appropriately if you’re on a hill.
I do not subscribe to the “sawing” method, in which you keep going forward and back in an attempt to inch yourself closer to the curb (although you might have to do this to get out of the spot), unless it's to make a very minor adjustment. If you didn’t do it right the first time, it's much easier to just return to the position in Figure A and start over.
Under normal circumstances, all of this should take less than ten seconds in a car. Obviously a van will take longer.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Portland Drivers
I live in Portland, Oregon. Some would call the average Portlander courteous. I call them pansies. Their general fear of offending anyone manifests itself in their passivity and indecisiveness. This is particularly evident in their driving.
The number one most irritating driving habit of Portlanders is their predilection to come to a complete stop at an intersection if there is another vehicle, bicycle or pedestrian within 100 feet of the same intersection. This is irregardless of whether they have a green light or the right of way, even if they are turning right. I have been stopped in my car at a stop sign countless times in which the cross traffic with no stop sign comes to a complete stop from both directions to let me go. When turning left, it is commonplace for the vehicle in the oncoming lane to come to a stop to let you turn in front of them instead of just assuming you will do it yourself when there is a clearing in the oncoming traffic. Consequently, traffic jams are constantly being created where there are not that many vehicles.
This same passivity prevents Portlanders from being able to merge. I have almost been killed on at least two occasions when the car in front of me comes to the end of an on-ramp to an interstate and suddenly brakes to a complete stop- while I am going 50 mph two seconds behind them. I have heard many Portlanders actually complain when the drivers on the interstate don’t slow up to let them merge instead of speeding up to the flow of traffic to let themselves in. Traffic comes to a stop on the interstates every time it approaches an onramp, then speeds up to the speed limit until it reaches the next onramp.
I will admit it is sometimes humorous. One of my favorite pastimes in this town is watching people try to Parallel Park. But my normal response to these idiots has become to flip them off and scream curses at them until they give up trying to be polite to me and just follow the rules of the road.
The number one most irritating driving habit of Portlanders is their predilection to come to a complete stop at an intersection if there is another vehicle, bicycle or pedestrian within 100 feet of the same intersection. This is irregardless of whether they have a green light or the right of way, even if they are turning right. I have been stopped in my car at a stop sign countless times in which the cross traffic with no stop sign comes to a complete stop from both directions to let me go. When turning left, it is commonplace for the vehicle in the oncoming lane to come to a stop to let you turn in front of them instead of just assuming you will do it yourself when there is a clearing in the oncoming traffic. Consequently, traffic jams are constantly being created where there are not that many vehicles.
This same passivity prevents Portlanders from being able to merge. I have almost been killed on at least two occasions when the car in front of me comes to the end of an on-ramp to an interstate and suddenly brakes to a complete stop- while I am going 50 mph two seconds behind them. I have heard many Portlanders actually complain when the drivers on the interstate don’t slow up to let them merge instead of speeding up to the flow of traffic to let themselves in. Traffic comes to a stop on the interstates every time it approaches an onramp, then speeds up to the speed limit until it reaches the next onramp.
I will admit it is sometimes humorous. One of my favorite pastimes in this town is watching people try to Parallel Park. But my normal response to these idiots has become to flip them off and scream curses at them until they give up trying to be polite to me and just follow the rules of the road.
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