OT VS. NT

I was going to write about the Gilliam movie Brazil today, but a brief conversation with a co-worker has prompted me to reflect on this topic instead, even though it is admittedly much less interesting than Brazil.

Following is a short list, written in about an hour’s span off the top of my head, comparing and contrasting the God of the Old Testament with the God of the New Testament. This cannot be considered a comparison of the God of Judaism with the God of Christianity, because in both religions, the teachings of their religious texts are secondary to the teachings of their religious leaders (of course all religious leaders will slyly tell you otherwise).

OT: If you follow my commands, your life will be blessed.
NT: If you follow my commands, your life might suck but after you die you’ll be blessed.

OT: Fear me.
NT: Love me, which is incompatible with fear.

OT: If you disobey me, your enemies will defeat you.
NT: If you disobey me, I’ll let you be tortured for all of eternity.

OT: I have laid out very specific rituals and rules that you must follow. Rules include don’t eat dead pigs or wear clothes woven from more than one fabric.
NT: Skip those traditions and you can’t follow all those rules anyway so don’t worry about the less important ones too much (although they’re all equally important because if you break one it’s as if you’ve broken them all), especially if you have a dream which implies they are no longer relevant.

OT: I will forgive you if you kill a bunch of animals.
NT: I will forgive you because I let my son be killed.

OT: Women are not to be trusted.
NT: Women are not to be trusted.

OT: Jews are superior to all other races.
NT: All races are equal.

OT: A man can have as many wives as he wants. The man is in charge.
NT: A man can only have one wife. The man is in charge.

OT: The best way to deal with other races is to annihilate them.
NT: The best way to deal with other races is to convert them. I’ll even speak their languages through you so you can communicate with them.

OT: Sex with anyone other than your wives is frowned upon.
NT: Sex with anyone other than your wife is a sin.

OT: If you disobey me, I will punish you, your children and their children.
NT: If you deny that I exist, I will never forgive you, but it won’t reflect on your children.

OT: If you follow me, you will be rich.
NT: If you follow me, you won’t need money.

OT: Women are sexy!
NT: Do not be turned on by women.

OT: Getting drunk is okay, even if it causes you to sleep with your daughters or run around town naked.
NT: Don’t get drunk!

OT: Pay attention to Jews who talk gibberish about the future.
NT: Pay attention to followers of Jesus who talk gibberish about the future.

OT: Psychics from other religious are accurate but should not be consulted.
NT: Psychics from other religious are liars and should not be consulted.

OT: I am pretty damn powerful, but I need to rest occasionally.
NT: I am all-powerful and a human mortal all at the same time!

OT: I am just like you, but it is impossible for you to fathom me.
NT: I am way better than you, but I will reveal myself to you.

OT: I made man out dirt and woman out of man’s rib.
NT: I fed thousands of people with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread.

OT: I live in the Ark of the Covenant.
NT: I live in your heart.

OT: Obey me constantly!
NT: Think about me constantly!

OT: Listen to the teachings of no one but me.
NT: I am either God’s son or God himself or both so you should listen to my teachings.

OT: I reserve the right to ruin your life just to see how you’ll react.
NT: I love you so much I’d never ruin your life.

OT: War is usually the answer.
NT: Peace is always the answer.

OT: Most diseases are punishments from me. What’s a demon?
NT: Most diseases are caused by demons. Only I can heal you.

OT: I speak literally.
NT: I speak in metaphor.

OT: I am in all places at once, although my knowledge of geography is limited to the Mesopotamian region.
NT: I traveled thousands of miles on camel back before I was 2!

OT: The sun goes around the earth, and I can stop it if needed.
NT: I can walk on water and you can too if you stare at me long enough.

OT: I am an emotionally unstable nutcase.
NT: I am really good at being passive-aggressive, and only lose my temper occasionally.

OT: I am the same yesterday, today and forever.
NT: I am the same yesterday, today and forever.