Saturday, October 17, 2009

Animal Sacrifice

The Old Testament is surely the most violent book ever assembled. Today, I have been empathizing with a major theme of the OT: being separated from Love. The cathartic drive to kill in order to demonstrate the frustration of being cursed to live apart from Love while being overwhelmed by its reality is suddenly powerfully familiar imagery to me.

I daresay I would do anything to be with her. Every time you fall in love it feels a little different; but this time it feels reciprocated, which is novel for me. It is inexplicable why I am so compelled to trust her after having had my heart broken multiple times before. Then again, I've always been tenacious. I am fully cognizant that I barely know her. But GODDAMN I love this girl. She is 2,485.86 driving miles away according to Mapquest. It hurts. I miss her profoundly.

This is unlike me. I am very used to doing my own thing and being alone. I am an independent person! Was. Now I'm a caged canary begging to be poked at. I am King Kong.

Could be worse....

2 comments:

E said...

It's all good man...that's why love is awesome! I barely new Belinda when I knew that she would be the woman I'd end up with. Haven't regretted it since! Pray you have the same results, bro. Where does she live?

oudev oida said...

In every relationship I've ever entered, this one included, my thought is, "This is probably a bad idea but I don't care." That's how I roll. My maxim, after all, is that I don't know anything. I have a zen approach to regret: I regret everything and nothing.

Unlike me, she's a private person and I'll try to respect that by not divulging too much. She's likely annoyed I already sing of her in public so much. But she's currently studying for her Master's at University of Alabama.