Tearing Down

“Find sum1/thing U love & stand 4 it instead tearing others down.”

A friend recently re-posted this barely-legible request as their Facebook update. I do not know the original context or motivation behind this statement. However, that will not stop me from ignoring the request and performing a deconstruction of the sentence worthy of Derrida. (I am only trying to be funny here- I haven’t read Derrida in years and am not going to intentionally emulate his approach.)

1) “Find someone or something you love…”

The presumption of this statement is audacious. Anyone who has ever loved knows that one does not choose to love. It is something that happens. How dare anyone command one to love? Perhaps it is simply meant as an encouragement to explore. In order to find something, there must be a quest, which is usually accomplished through research and experience. Should one really find out whether they love, say, smashing skulls with baseball bats?

The writer doesn’t seem to care who or what is loved. Apparently, simply loving is enough; even if the thing loved is Satan or child molestation. (Yes, I also have a problem with the Beatles song, All You Need Is Love.)

The singular nature of the request is annoying to me. I seriously feel sorry for anyone that only loves one person or thing. I feel truly blessed to love so many and so much. Also, I’ll admit a bias against anything that smells of totalitarianism or monotheism.

2) “…and stand for it instead (of) tearing others down.”

Can one stand for one thing without refuting or being able to refute what is contrary? Possibly. But consider my perspective: I love my girlfriend, and consequently have strong instincts to protect her. If anyone dared bully her or whatnot, you can guarantee I will tear that person down to the best of my ability. This is my love expressing itself. Are you asking for love to be passive and inactive? I question the mutual exclusivity of the two halves of the statement. Can’t the one thing I love be tearing others down?

More importantly, why be opposed to opposition? Most people seem incredibly threatened by anything contrary to what they already believe. Perhaps this is because they know their beliefs are ill-researched and unjustifiable. Nobody confident in their ability to rationally defend their beliefs fears alternative opinions. People tend to believe what they want to believe, which is usually very different than what is true. Most find the truth insulting and annoying.

Perhaps the author is simply asking that one not insult another. I agree that name-calling is counter-productive. But I am exhausted with everyone wanting to live their lives wearing rose-colored glasses, hearing only that which they already agree with and avoiding the rest. Another friend’s recent re-posted update post is:

“Determine to listen to life-giving voices & ignore life-sapping voices with wisdom to know the difference!”

I don’t see how it takes any wisdom to tell the difference between things you want to and don’t want to hear, but I digress. I understand not wanting to be overwhelmed by the evils of this world, but there seems to be a common assumption that everything other than one’s own life and beliefs is negative, bad or evil and therefore best to be avoided.

There are obviously occasions where what one loves has nothing to do with what another loves and so argument is pointless, but in America, the opinions of the majority does influence my existence in multiple ways. The buying public influences the availability of consumer goods and the voters decide on politicians and laws. The biggest influence on the majority’s opinions and beliefs in any society is religion, followed by media and then advertising. The only people begging that things not be torn down are those content and in agreement with the status quo.

I am not part of the status quo. I am therefore forced to express and defend my own beliefs in order to hope and to enjoy human existence, which oftentimes requires tearing down that which is contrary. So I will continue to impose my logic whether you like it or not, thank you very much.