I learned at an early age that I live alone in my universe. I specifically remember being completely confused the first day of second grade that the other boys in the class had not also spent the summer playing “Cyborg.” From that day until now, I have seldom met anybody who can truly relate to my preferences, interests and beliefs. Consequently, I have spent many years trying to create bridges hoping to connect my universe with the universe of others. I don’t really believe this has been a futile endeavor, but I tend to perceive it as being a frustrating one.
In a lot of ways, I view my universe as being akin to a pinball game. I’m a helpless little ball being frantically propelled around by various random, unavoidable obstacles, equipped solely with two little levers with which I can only keep myself from being sucked into the hole at the bottom of the table whenever I tumble towards it. With practice, I can aim myself at an obstacle in an attempt to gain points (learn) from it, and I guess that the only point of the game. Despite my best efforts, I’m sometimes sucked into the hole by forces beyond my control and out of reach of the levers, and then I must prod myself in the ass with a spring-loaded rod to get myself going again. I could just sit there with the rod up my ass, but that’s the same as having never come out of the hole.
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