Sunday, October 12, 2008

Ann

My friend Ann drove to Vancouver this weekend to run a marathon today. That’s pretty much the last thing in the world I would ever want to do; it’s right up there with drinking battery acid as far as I’m concerned. But there’s a lot about Ann that’s dissimilar to me.

Ann likes to stay positive. Being positive bores the ba-jesus out of me. I enjoy finding shit to bitch about. I think cynicism is funny.

Ann is a nice, cute, charming, friendly girl that everybody likes. She mentioned once she didn’t think she had any enemies. I seem to spend most of my time annoying people or pissing them off. I don’t make too many friends but I could have a rolodex full of enemies.

Ann seems to genuinely care. I generally don’t.

Ann once told the story of the one time she got in trouble in grade school, remembering every detail. She hadn’t actually done anything except misunderstand the teacher but twenty years later she was still distraught about it. I can’t even remember all the stupid stuff I got in trouble for growing up. I don’t know why anybody would want to, but I’ll bet if you yelled at Ann you’d make her cry. You could yell at me and make me yawn.

I haven’t seen Ann and Carl very much lately. I’ll admit I thought maybe Ann was mad at me for some reason. It turns out she just got promoted and has been working a new job that’s been keeping her busy, not to mention she’s been training for a marathon in the early mornings and hiking up mountains every weekend. When I did get to see her last week, she asked if I was mad at her for not reading my blog.

7 comments:

Olive Bread said...

Ann is da bomb. So why is half of her story about you?

oudev oida said...

in high school did you ever have to do a comparison/contrast paper? I did mine on martin luther king, jr and malcolm x.

oudev oida said...

more specifically, I honestly don't understand Ann very much. It's pretty hard to write about someone you don't understand except by contrast without it sounding like an obituary. "Ann was born on May 12th...."

Olive Bread said...

That's interesting, because it seems like you do understand her, you could use examples instead of contrasting points in the post. Without examples, you could be making this shit up, like she's a character in the book "The raunchy ways of Mr. Wilshusen" or whatever the title will be.

oudev oida said...

You have a very good point. I'll try...stay tuned for Ann 2. Although I doubt it would be nearly as good as The Raunchy Ways of Mr. Wilshusen!

oudev oida said...

More specifically, this post on Ann does little more than impose meaningless labels and unsubstantiated assertions, things everybody who knows me realizes I will call out every time. I highly appreciate Risa using this same standard against me.

oudev oida said...

More specifically, it seems I need to find a new preposition.