Dancing

Dancing is one of those things I don't AT ALL like to do in public, to the consternation of many. Like yoga, it is specifically designed to humiliate stiff and awkward people like myself. Making an ass of yourself with witnesses just isn't very fun.

It seems the only people that would want to dance are exhibitionists, alpha males and males and females attracted to alpha males. Or perhaps I'm missing the point entirely.

I've gone dancing once or twice and even taken some dance lessons; basically because I can be a sucker for cute girls and will try most things once. But the last time some random girl asked me to dance, at one of those lame-band music festivals, I cooly responded, "I don't dance," before taking a swig from my flask. She quickly left me the hell alone.

Swing dancing is an especially irritating form of exercise. The tango lessons were alright, but I would advise not to take beginner tango lessons with a girl who has been obsessed with dancing her entire life AND has been to Argentina.

I can do a pretty good impression of Pee Wee Herman's dance from Pee Wee's Big Adventure.