“If your idea of having fun is going to a baseball game and sneaking in a flask of whiskey, then I can see why you like it here.” She sneered the words insultingly, but I couldn’t have summarized our differences better myself. Still, she was my dear friend’s sister, so I continued to attempt to backtrack, “I could have done that in Des Moines.” (I have fond memories of Iowa Cubs games; too bad the stadium sat in a railroad track polluted wasteland.) But she wasn’t going to listen to me anymore, and I had given up awaiting any response to my challenge to name one good thing about Des Moines, Iowa.
She and my friend were adamant that I needed to visit Des Moines again before making any judgments about it, because “it has changed a lot” since I was last there. This is such a tiring demand. I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend any more of my only life visiting Des Moines, Iowa to find out whether or not it still sucks. Would anybody do that? What have they done in the last six years; installed mountains, an ocean, ethnic diversity, cultural awareness, edible vegetarian cuisine, a nightlife, worthwhile music, aesthetic architecture, an extensive art museum (I did like that museum with that bad-ass Francis Bacon painting), a public transportation system and climate-control? I’m just going to assume they haven’t and skip the airfare. I didn’t feel it necessary to point out any of that, but I did mention that I had visited once in 2002 and had one of the most miserable times of my life (my visit with Tara excluded). The conversation stalled to a halt when she invited me to stay with her next time I visited and I meekly uttered, “Thanks,” instead of vocalizing the overwhelming thought, Gee, THAT sounds like fun.
It was one of those conversations that had started innocently and then immediately plunged south. I had simply tried to strike up a conversation with a stranger by saying, “Where are you visiting from?” When she replied, “Des Moines,” I cringed and responded, “Still there, huh?” knowing that Des Moines is where her family is from. I guess her and Des Moines, Iowa are butt buddies or something (to bring back a saying from junior high that I never quite understood), because she got uptight fast. “We really love it there. What don’t you like about it?” I paused and thought about it for a second. “I can’t think of anything I do like about it.” “Well, where are you from?” She said this like she was slapping me in the face inviting me to a duel. “Des Moines.” I coolly but defiantly declared, exaggerating only slightly.
Eventually it came up that I had lived in Oakland for six years. When my friend attempted to take her sister’s side by saying “I’d rather live in Des Moines than Oakland,” I simply shrugged and said, “Yeah?” and that was that. In retrospect, I’m compelled to highlight my response versus hers. Why would I care if somebody doesn’t like Oakland? I don’t want to live there either. Implying Des Moines, Iowa is in any way preferable to Oakland, California is pretty fucking ignorant as far as I’m concerned, but I’m fully aware that that’s just my worthless subjective opinion. So why do I have to have some bitch jumping down my throat when I voice my opinion? She consistently spoke to me in a dismissive and condescending tone, yet never once came up with one good thing about Des Moines. I think I’ll look her up next time I’m there.
1 comment:
My fam and I moved to Houston three years ago and we love it. I would have loved to move to Chicago first, or San Diego, we felt God calling us down here, and it's been nice. With having four shorties and constantly on the run with them, and stuff that me and the Mrs do, we love having all the options that a city like H-town has, but at times, I find I miss it back home. I miss the fall back there. The colors are amazing...especially up in the Boone area, by the train ride, or up in Cedar Rapids where my brother in law got married last fall. I agree that Des Moines, is nothing compared to the bigger cities, but it has a charm. Again though, I don't plan on moving back.
One note though, the new I-Cubs ballpark is NICE! Too bad they can't support any other teams. I love catching the Chi-Cubs when they come to town, or my Chiefs when they play the Texans, or even my Magic when they come to play the Rockets. I just love having the diversity that the bigger cities give you.
I'd love to get out to Oakland, or now Portland where you live. I want to check out Seattle up there as well. I could live where it rains all the time, but my wife would get depressed. :)
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