“‘Are you happy?’ ‘Am I happy? Well, I don’t know- as happy as the next man I guess. I don’t laugh all day long like an idiot if that’s what you mean.’”
People that might not know me very well may get the impression that I am a miserable person. On the contrary, I am generally happy and satisfied with my life. I have the greatest friends in the world and a very supportive family.
I enjoy being contrary, snarky, perverted, aware, honest, opinionated, snobby, inappropriate, rude, cynical and bitter. Fortunately, I also like spending a lot of time alone. I like lying in bed watching samurai movies. I love quotations. I love that baseball games are often three hours long. I have a cute little house and really nice kitchen knives with no roommates to ruin them. I love going out for Thai or Indian food a couple times a month. I enjoy backsliding on my vegetarianism and getting sushi every so often. I like not owning a bunch of clutter. I have a decent job that I enjoy most days. I love drinking and playing board games with friends. I think cleaning up cat puke five minutes after I get out of the shower is awesome (no, that’s not true; that’s just what I’m doing right now).
If women (or their boyfriends) didn’t keep dicking me around, I would be ecstatic. If I had about $1,000 to fix up my truck, that’d be awesome. If I had a few hundred thousand to start my own business, that’d be perfect.
If I were like the masses, then I’d be miserable. I hate religion, nationalism and greed. I abhor the idea of marriage. I can barely stand children and find human proliferation appalling. I don’t like bullies, republicans, racists and homophobes. I don’t like people who brag about how philanthropic they are. I can’t stand whiny, lazy people. I don’t like exercise, yoga, saunas or bubble baths. I don’t want to try to be positive or optimistic all the time. I don’t want to improve my well-being. I can’t stand liars or delusional people. I also can’t stand people who can’t make up their own minds or those who believe whatever the hell somebody told them. “And I hate the fucking Eagles.”
Bottom line: I’m having a good day; so leave me the fuck alone.
2 comments:
Philadelphia Eagles, or the band The Eagles?! :)
Ha ha- it's a quote from The Big Lebowski. He's referenceing the band. My sense of humor is pretty subtle and dark. I inserted all sorts of things I consider funny into this posting, realizing nobody else would probably get it- but that is the whole theme of the thing. Oh, nevermind.
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